My Approach to Couple counselling/Therapy
Couples counselling can help the couple to work through a wide range of issues presenting in their relationship.
Common themes that couples seek help for are improving communication, conflict management, improving intimacy, sex and rebuilding their relationship following an infidelity.
Underpinning my approach is the focus on the relationship, not what each partner has done or not done.
Both partners have probably contributed to the reasons they want to seek some outside help. Each partner has a part to play.
By the time the couple have decided to see a counsellor there has often been a lot of blame and criticism. Whilst in therapy we would avoid this blame and criticism as this is not helpful.
It is not easy to take this first step. The fact that the couple have decided to meet with a therapist demonstrates that there is hope for the relationship.
Most couples feel that communication between them could be better and the relationship is no longer meeting their needs in the way it has done in the past.
When working with couples, my aim is to help them regain connection.
It is painful when couples lose the closeness and sense of connection that they once had. This can leave them feeling sad and lonely. Once couples make an assessment of their relationship, they might decide to separate.
In order to work out what the couples want and how they have arrived at this place, I gather quite a lot of background information about health, family structure and major life events. There are often many factors contributing to the unhappiness in the relationship.
By accessing therapy with an independent person, specialising in couples work, the relationship and both parties can be supported in a safe environment. They can explore their difficulties with the knowledge that the support is impartial, confidential and qualified.
During couples therapy both partners are present and we work on any areas that are affecting the relationship.
Some of the issues I work with include:
- Different needs / wants
- Problems with communication
- Cultural differences
- Children / families
- Growing apart
- Seeking help in separating